Words matter, and the way you talk to your students matters.  Choosing your words with care, and purpose, can help your students grow, feel supported, and build mutual respect with you, and each other.  Here are three phrases that I have chosen to bring into my repertoire that have done just that:

“Yet.”  The word yet is so short and so simple, but so powerful.  When I ask student what their favorite book is and they reply “I don’t have one” or “I don’t like to read”, I ask them to add the word “yet” to the end of these proclamations.  When I do this, I also explain to them that it’s ok to not have a favorite book or to not enjoy reading, but by saying these things they are more likely to believe that this will always be the case. I ask them to, instead, say “I don’t have a favorite book yet” or “I don’t like to read yet” to remind themselves that this is something that can change.  This also allows me to validate their experiences- as opposed to saying “that can’t be true…etc”- while offering them the chance to think of a future when they do have a favorite book and find joy in reading.  I lastly remind them that a big part of my job is helping them get to yet, because it’s important for both of us to remember that yet doesn’t just happen without some work.

“Do you know how to…?”.   This is one I have learned through the years and have only recently made a conscious effort towards using, but have noticed the impact immediately.  When a student hasn’t started on a direction that has been given, instead of asking them “Why haven’t you started your work?” or telling them “Please get to work” I ask “Do you know how to…[insert the first step to the directions here].”  Many times a student hasn’t started because they do not know how to – whether they don’t understand part of the content, or a worksheet, or a web tool we’re using.  By asking them if they know how to complete the first step, I allow myself the chance to offer help, and them an opportunity to ask for it, instead of putting them on the defensive by almost accusing them of not wanting to complete using the prior phrases. 

“Right now, I need you to [Insert a positive behavior here]”.  This is one teachers hear a lot, from prep courses to colleagues, but it is still one of the most useful ones you have at your disposal.  When student A is throwing a pencil, talking to their neighbor, or making funny faces at their webcam, do not ask them to stop their behavior.  Instead, ask them to start a better one.  So instead of “Student A, stop talking”, you say “Student A, right now I need you to put your name on your paper”.  Instinctively many students may still respond as though you told them to stop, perhaps saying “But I wasn’t talking!”.  This is because they are used to being told to stop behaviors they know interfere with learning.  In which case, I simply say “I didn’t say you were talking, I said that right now I need you to put your name on your paper”.  It can take time for this defensive reaction to lessen, especially in students who are redirected a lot, but I have found that almost every time, it will.

It can be hard to remember to focus on our language choices when our attention is pulled in so many directions already, as it often is during our teaching day. But our language choices matter, and impact how our students think about learning, and us. Language is one factor in our classroom where a small change, such as including these phrases when talking to our students, can have tremendous impact. I encourage you to try these phrases out, and see what differences you notice.

_{Header Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash}